Month: December 2016

Yay boleh kahwin!

Think the hardest part of the ROMM interview [which is officially known as Document Verification & Statutory Declaration (VD/SD)] is not the interview itself, but the actual coordinating of dates between the couple and the wali to come down, since there’s no weekend slot.

So anyway, December is a good month to go down, since its the time to clear leave etc. which is why we found ourselves at ROMM this morning. The service hours start from 8.30 am, and we the kiasu ppl (me, the other half and my dad) arrived on the dot to take our queue number. There was already so many people in the morning (even a couple doing their solemnisation with their family)- so best is to come once it opens because there really is loads of people. This morning, only 2 counters were open for ROMM and one room available for the declaration to take place.

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We were the 3rd couple to be called, and it was around 9am by the time. We went through all our details again with t0 the counter lady, and she advised not to make any last minute changes (less than a week) as our kadi has to pick up the documents, and we wouldn’t want a wrong cert. 20161228_091510.jpg

Then we had to wait a while more, before my dad was called into Room R4. After that it was our turn to go in. I wasn’t nervous before that but the kadi on duty was deputy registrar Nor Razak and he was rather stern. I guess he has to be, in case anyone wants to bluff that they don’t have another bini or what! ;p

But Alhamdulilah all went okay, and the line of questioning was smooth. The only ‘personal’ question he asked was why my address was different from my dad’s. After that we had to angkat sumpah, and then we were done!

Took some photos at the mini grass pelamin first before we left hahaha.

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To-do list.

  1. Pop down to venue to settle logistical issues with the staff there
  2. Finalise number of invitees: hopefully can keep the guest list small to 500 and print cards
  3. Decide on the budget for berkat based on the final invite list and go JB to buy
  4. Place order for wedding cake
  5. Decide if videography is really needed
  6. Decide if I want to get ready at home, or book hotel room near venue
  7. Book wedding transport
  8. Decide on mini-moon venue

4 months to go!

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Kursus done!

apkim

Allah will exalt those of you who believe, and those who are given knowledge, in high degrees; and Allah is Aware of what you do.

(Surah Al Mujadilah 58:11)

As I was clearing my leave this week, I opted for APKIM’s one day course today. Frankly I was a bit tired as I had just returned from my holiday in Sarawak, and couldn’t absorb as much as I would have liked. But at least the whole day wasn’t boring and I didn’t regret choosing APKIM at all.

The first half of the morning where we had a personal session with a counselor, Puan S was very beneficial because we were able to express our hopes, fears and worries to her. We basically threw aside the book (seriously the course materials really need a refresh as its too generic) and she asked us to hone in on the topics we specifically wanted to know about. So namely we discussed on three things – financial/nafkah, proper upbringing of the children and dealing with the mertuas.

I really liked this approach because we could ask her specific personal questions for our current situation, like a pre-marriage counselling session. It was an eye-opener as she related the various mahkamah cases (affairs – pakcik ada bini no 2 in Malaysia or arguing with the mertuas over trivial things like soap) that are happening in the community now. I also like how there’s a strong religious slant, as iman is the strongest foundation of any marriage.

We ended at around 12 15, for solat and lunch break. The 2nd half was with Cik R, and there was only one other couple around. I enjoy intimate settings like these because I learn more this way rather than go through the whole split into group brainstorm sessions. The syllabus was quite basic – love language, DISC personality, nafkah etc. but it was a pretty insightful session as well.

However I think one day could be quite rushed, as he was skipping certain portions, so those who want to be more detailed could opt for the two day workshop. Think they were rushing to end on the dot at 6pm. Anyway once the course ended, we also headed to nearby North Bridge Road to collect our pre-wedding photoshoot album frames (so happy with the end product!)

I’m glad this is over, so we can go down for the ROMM interview next week insyaAllah. Off course the learning never stops, and we always have to learn and adapt to our other half.

I may also be going for this Diary Tok Kadi series – looks interesting!

 

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Kompang Rates

Another thing I am considering is whether to have kompang! Have always loved the debaran of the kompang beats..makes the whole proceeding so lively! However, as my venue does not allow kompang inside, am still wondering if i shd still engage a group to do the escort and qasidah.

Does anyone know what are the market rates for kompang these days and how much budget did you set aside for your kompang?

Thanks!! Have a great weekend everyone!

 

 

 

Gubahan checked!

Thanks to all the lovely folks who gave their advice on gubahan.. i now know so much more!

While the tunang has spare dulangs and a family who can DIY them, I have to outsource mine, as my side is totally not crafty at all (I failed art in school, true story).

After looking around, I decided on D’ Perfection Gifts and Services. Kak Ain is nice and generally responsive to my endless questions. I’ve decided to do three dulangs with her, and may top up one more later. Need to choose the colors soon.. the basic is satin, and I can upgrade if I decide on a songket or mirror based one.

Actually what really got me to engage her was the mini tanjaks for the bunga rampai she does! Soooo cute! I love how she injects traditional elements, and have placed orders for this as well.

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I had no choice, but to order sireh dara also because my mum thinks its important to declare to everyone that I’m an anak dara. But okay lah, this would add to the vibrancy of the pelamin decor. In this case, it would be good for the groom’s side to prepare a sireh junjung for exchange as well.

Kak Ain does bunga pahar too, which is good should my mother suddenly decide she wants to do this tradition also.

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I found Zzany’s blog entry on Malay wedding traditions an insightful read on the significance of all these elements. However to keep the walimah simple and to respect my mosque venue, I would not be having things that could potentially be kecoh like hadang. With a combined wedding, a lot of these traditions are also not necessary. I am envisioning a simple walk-in without any fanfare, since kompang is only allowed up to the masjid entrance.

Lastly, does anyone know which vendors provide bridal room decor? Our Midas Touch is good, but over my budget. RibbonsNTies is super unresponsive, despite a few emails and message to them. Any help in this area is much appreciated, since my room is rather unfit to be a bridal room at the moment. ;p